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What Really Goes On in My Head |
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~As always, I'm not really a fan of my own work, but...eh, I guess I just felt like posting this (even if barely anyone will read it)~
My head hangs low,
Watching my feet shuffle in tow,
Mind racing- tears churning- just another normal day
Having to listen to what all the other people say.
I’ve heard it before, same as the rest:
“Hold your head high, and do your best”
But what if my neck has cracked under the strain?
What if not attempting is what’s keeping me sane?
I know what comes next, I’m not so naïve
As the tears fall: “What are you crying about? Just breathe.”
And I want to scream it in your face, but my lips can barely move
Maybe if you were me, I’d have nothing to prove
Then comes the worst part, because I know it’s true
“Tons of people have it worse than you”
And that hits me hard, tears up my heart
Because now I think, it’s just me- tearing myself apart
Here comes the funny part, the part I can’t stand
“You’re beautiful, smart, and nice” as they hold my hand
It makes my mask sprinkle back into place
Because you wouldn’t say that- if you were really looking at my face
And this is my problem- the one I can’t solve
As my smiling mask reattaches itself “See now? I knew I could help resolve”
Your happy self turns to leave
And I’m back to being barely able to breathe
Head hanging low, turning back to my life
Feet shuffling in tow, feeling the looks hitting like a knife
Mind racing- tears churning, another normal day
Listening to what people have to say, in the common-day hallway
Don’t feel awful; don’t look upon this with scorn
This has been what’s meant to happen, ever since I was born
I don’t know if it was ever supposed to get this bad
Or if it’s simply all my fault, for allowing myself to feel this sad
And of course the last part, from the lone passer-byer
“Maybe you should go get some real help; there are people out there for hire”
I’m too tired now, too lonely, too blue, so I’ll just shake my head to you-
I don’t think one person can fix what a whole life-time of people has said to be true.
 apterous_angel · Fri Jul 17, 2009 @ 01:30am · 0 Comments |
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