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The title is completely self explanatory.

"What no silly welcome this time, ashleigh?"
Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? How am I supposed to usher in happiness with a title as such?!
Beats me.

I'm probably barking into the dark, especially due to the condition of my gaia account, I scantly get on matched along with my amount of friends I barely even talk to. I miss it terribly, anything that reminds me of the old times I want to snatch and hoard.

It is fall time. The season of the year I anticipate eagerly with every passing day. Everything about it makes me feel at peace, strikes me with nostalgia. Being a child, at pure obliviousness. The absolute undisturbed innocence of the holidays and the cold. Tears come every time. Especially before I moved, the best times came to me in fall. It so much beautiful than it is here.

Everything I had pushed myself to achieve for myself, to talk and smile more, has imploded. It's a cruel joke. With each passing day I feel something dragging me under, I am no longer myself. At least I care no longer if I was to lose anybody of significance, since that already happened. A poor attempt to be optimistic.

If I were to smile now, it would be a facade. To live with gusto, is a meaningless effort. I feel as if I were living but dead at the same time. I could cry but what is the use if I'm presented with the same life I have to adjust to?