Listening to ;; I Hate Myself for Loving You by Joan Jett.
Eating ;; Nothing.
Feeling ;; Absolutely disgusted with myself.
Hello, readers.
I hope Cupid is happy. I really do. Because he did this to me and I know it. I NEVER felt anything but friendship for Jason.
Until now . . . I fear that I have fallen to his spell. I hate him for it. I always thought that I would never requite his feelings for me.
No. That just COULDN'T Happen. Now all of my plans were ruined. I would be too focused on him, and give up my dreams for him. To be his little girl. I would become weak.
Down with love, down with men, and down with romance.
But you know what sucks the most about this entire thing?
I caught myself . . . checking him out today. And it was the worst experience ever. You know why?
Because I liked what I saw.
I wanted him . . . I mean I wanted him. Probably just as much as he wanted me. And it made me sick. The way my face flushed when he bit his lower lip when he was concentrating on something, his tousled hair, like he had just gotten out of bed.
And . . . I looked at his butt. Yup. I took a big gander at it.
Not to mention, Monday, I was running errands for my teacher and I passed Jason in the hallway. Needless to say, we started to talk. And he started to flirt . . . and then he bit his lower lip.
I wanted to pounce on him. Then and there. But I couldn't. I wouldn't. Because I had dignity . . . and the teacher would get suspicious if I was missing when I was supposed to be running errands.
But then again, this wasn't all bad. It wasn't like I wanted someone that didn't want me back, right? And Jason was a good guy, who I've known all my life. And surely he wouldn't make me give up my dreams.
And even if I did . . . if I ever fell in love with him, my biggest dream should be being with him for the rest of my life.
Besides, I kind of liked the idea of me being a little house wife. Waiting for Jason to come home from work . . . having dinner ready for the children. It was kind of perfect . . .
Ugh. This whole ' liking someone ' thing is confusing. So for now . . . I'll just wait for Jason to make another move. Until then . . . I might make a few moves of my own . . .
Listening to ;; Radar by Britney Spears.
Eating ;; Dove chocolate.
Feeling ;; Very, very mischievous.
 iReggie · Sun Sep 19, 2010 @ 12:49am · 0 Comments |
