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'No More..' I'm officially done with love. Not because I'm depressed or anything. But, because I am over it all now. And, I don't want to feel the way I did.
I feel so much better now. Numb still, but better. I feel like, I now have complete control in my life. I have never felt that before. it has always been controlled by someone.
I feel nothing but happiness, for no specific reason. Just, that i feel so free.
No one's life is perfect, but I'm going to make mine as close to it as it can be.
And to think. two hours ago, I felt like dying. No reason to live. I think about that now, and realize that it may be true, but why waste the fun? I've always been held down by one person. He may know it, or not. But, not anymore. I feel so /alive/. I can feel my heart again. Someone must have placed it back in it's place for me. I appreciate it.
From now on, I promise myself I will not give my heart away. It feels amazing with it back, and I'm not losing it again. EVER. I'm trying to get everything else lined up in my life. Hopefully, it's not too hard. But, all I can do is hope and try.
Right now, I feel so damn amazing. No idea why. I can't think. /that's a good thing/
< 3 3
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'i'm Just Your Little Puppet..'
I'm hiding inside a box, and no one sees it there. I can see everything going on outside. I see the things people don't notice. Who shall I reveal all my secrets to? So much goes on. The world turns, and no one realizes how slow it goes. They're just too busy with their lives. Maybe the world's ending, just as they say. You wouldn't know it with all the lies roaming this earth.
Who is there to believe anymore? If it's not one lie, it's another. No one's perfect; but, that's because they try not be. so much suffocating. and no one sees. I know so many things that the others don't know, or care to find.
i feel like I'm physically there, but emotionally I'm nowhere. I feel so numb. My mind's gone, I've lost it. As well as my sanity. They may say they notice nothing different. How could they, if they wont search deep enough? What lies on the surface of the lake, doesn't tell you exactly what's there dwelling at the bottom.
I've learned so many things. No one cares. They all say they do, but that's a lie. They just end up hurting you in the end.
I've been thinking;; why hurt and bleed over someone that doesn't want you?
Maybe that's why my heart is numb as well; it's missing. each person that i have loved deeply, holding a piece of it they do not know about. How can you love with something so important missing? The ones that i tell, just say 'Make a new one'.. Said as if it were nothing.
They tell me they love me. I can't feel it, even if i wanted to. I can't feel pain, anymore. It's all so numb now. I'll just wait until the end..
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