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http://www.ashurstandcolbury-pc.gov.uk/index.cfm?articleid=1696

By and large, I am an atheist, but as some of you will have figured out, I find cheese one of the funniest things in the world, in a sly deadpan smirking kind of way, and it could have been nothing less than divine providence that, while camping, me and my friends located a pub called "The Happy Cheese". Like all my favourite anecdotes, it involves us talking about the pirate ship that one day my friend Natt will own and we will all be crew members upon. I will be head gunner, and am limited only by one factor, that being that the ammo consists entirely of objects that start with the letter 's' and end with the letter 'd'. So far, the ship is allowed to fire squids (twang, splat, squirt), spuds, SCUDs, and people called Sid.

The camping trip itself will doubtless be the subject of a future journal entry, but it seemed that The Happy Cheese merited one of its own. So proud a pub name! So unfair that it was left off of all the local postcards!

So, as it was early in the morning, and we desperately needed milk, we walked through what I laughingly call Ashurst town, discussing which would win in a fight out of Captain America, Captain Birdseye, or Captain Correlli's Mandolin, when we were informed that apparently, before our time, there had been another pub opposite The Happy Cheese. The name of this pub? The Angry Cheese, of course.

So grateful am I that I live in such an obvious time of miracles. I'm enjoying life so much. In a smirking, deadpan kind of way.

victoryusagi is a bored writer living in West Sussex. His destiny is to manage a pub called The Ambivalent Cheese.