M'kay, there's this thing every year, Halloween, you might've heard of it. Gaia's sort of flooded with it right now. My friends and I get together every year on the 30th so we don't have to futz with people's Halloween plans. I get all exited, as usual. I don't have much to look foreward to nowadays so planned events have quite a quota of epic proportions to fill. I've been preparing for today for about... two weeks.
The girl I'm head over heels for, infatuated with, stark-raving totally blinking daft over... (There's a good one)... already has a boyfriend. Before you comment that I'm some sort of selfish home-wrecking villan know that I'm in no way trying to ruin what she has. I'm just stewing in my own bile about it. Well, either way I didn't know he was going to be showing up. I've met him. I didn't want to again. I'd rather go the rest of my life not running-into him, but what can you do.
Like I've said before, she and I have discussed my feelings for her. I think she knows that I still feel incredibly drawn to her and care for her deeply. If not,... ... maybe she'll read this. I don't want to start up that conversation again. Neither here nor there though... what I do want to know is why she keeps inviting me to stuff involving this guy. I would assume it's common knowledge that I'm not going to like him. In my own little perfect world... he doesn't exist, either that or is stuck in some time-share scheme across the globe from now 'till eternity.
I almost feel like she's exacting some uncalled for revenge. What did I do to get slammed with that punishment? Did I black out and a judge sentenced me to a life of watching my hopes and dreams smash against the stone-wall of irony? Did I pee on the rug or something and my nose needs to be rubbed in it so I get the picture? What's the picture, "[******** you, Kujo" by VanGough?
I just wish she'd give me a little heads up. Sort of a, "...hey, my boyfriend is invited by the way." That way I can come back with, "Okay, well let me know how it turns out." I don't want to be that guy in the corner sulking the whole time. We have one of those already.
By the way, if she's reading... I'm sorry. This is just how I feel on the whole subject. Stop putting me in the same event with this guy! It's only happened twice, but I'm really tired of it. I'm never going to like him, I'm only going to snap sooner.
Still recovering after a pretty lousy day
~Kujo~
