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An hour later, he could still hear the other four laughing, the sound echoing in his mind. And he genuinely smiled, finally setting himself free.

Or so he thought. His out of wack senses caused him to miscalculate, misinterperate every thing that had been going on within the living room and the next thing he knew the other four members were banging at his door, telling him to open up.

Oh. He thought. They found out.

He didn't know why he didn't even panic at the fact that his friends (and ex-lover even) had found out. The only thing that seemed to cross his mind is a false sense of peace and serenity, the blood rushing in his ears beginning to slow very considerably down. Not too much later the other members had managed to open his door, how he wasn't sure. He could see blurry outlines of vague figures in his doorway with shouts that didn't seem as loud as they were supposed to be, off in the distance and soft.

Regret. He's beginning to feel the regret fill him as the other members saw his state, shaking his too limp body and touching his too cold skin.

"TOP-hyung! TOP-hyung!" Daesung screamed out as Youngbae shook his body ceaselessly to keep him awake. It worked, but only somewhat. His shallow breathing and cold skin frightened everyone and he could barely, very vaguely, make out a small blur of a figure in the background who seemed to be scared. Reclined into his own body and shaking, leaned against the wall to support his wobbly legs. He seemed frightened. Of what, in his current state, he did not know.

"Oh my god, hyung! What the hell did you do?!" Seungri panicked as he stressed, not knowing what to do.

--

An hour later, he could still hear the other four laughing, the sound echoing in his mind. And he genuinely smiled, finally setting himself free.

But then the next thing he knows he wakes up in his bed with the too bright sun glaring in his face, sheets rumpled and Jiyong sleeping right beside him in blissful and rare moments of sleep. He's sweating and he's slightly out of breath as his eyes are wide and he's somehow sitting straight up upon his bed. He rests his head against the backboard of his bed as he sighs a tiresome sigh.

The few moments of rest they got these days were giving him such horrible visions. He knew he had a lot of stress and so much work to do with promotional activities but what about Jiyong? He was probably worse off.

He has his first solo concert to prepare for as well as the recently passed MAMA stage performance (that he was unfortunately unable to attend), the upcoming end of the year concert and many promotional activities with Big Bang. He sounds selfish, only thinking about was his taxing schedule that really wasn't as bad as his lover's. His racing heart slows down and he gives another sigh, gazing down at the peacefully sleeping figure. It brings a smile to his lips.

Perhaps the dream, or perhaps nightmare, wasn't too bad. It made him see that he should be more open with at least Ji. He'd understand, he himself has to deal with a far greater taxing schedule. The dream definitely shows him to be more appreciative. And he definitely is.

He's going to savor the few hours of sleep they are able to get every night, the few hours a week he's able to spend with Big Bang and Jiyong alone, relish the few minutes of alone time he gets a day and it gives him a lighter load to carry. Because he knows that he'll have support from Big Bang, from Jiyong, from sajangnim and all the fans. He'll thrive off the care and love that is presented to him by everyone around him and take better care of himself. He has to. For himself and everyone.

--

part 1 by starrkat94 @ LJ