It seems normal to be sad these days, doesn't it? It felt normal back then to. Whatever you feel to call it, its what it is, sadness. Funny i used to call it normal, I was just a hyper little thing when i was a kid, but when i went to a friends house things would just slow down, and i had a feeling i couldn't place. It seemed to happen every time i went so that, when it came to it, when the smile left my face, we both knew what was happening and that the night wouldn't be as fun. Eventually that came to an end and when i think back on it, I was sad about being there (maybe, i was just five I was probably coming of a sugar thing or something). I may have called him my friend but i didn't really like the kid, he had a Playstation 1 and i did not. I call sadness for what it is know and feel it all the time as do other people. All I can say is thank god for short attention spans in most of us. I like to think thats what its for. To forget about the sadness and focus something else. ADD is a bit of a curse and godsend when you look at it with the right optimism. Am i sad now? I might be, or i could just be striving for attention which i shall not receive. I wish I didn't strive for it so from people i don't know. Sure my mom loves me enough as does by brother though i will never make him admit it. To strive for the social loving of your peers and deeming your friends not something to strive for, that is sad right? I shove off with the insight that i am infact sad, for reasons that are my own. I fear the future for it will more than likly not turn the course that i have willed it to for the past four years. I curse fate with the next breath i give. Good night.
 hikaru23232 · Sun Jun 20, 2010 @ 02:50am · 0 Comments |
