Its been a while. I just havn't wanted to type, I mean I had ideas of what to say but just havn't wanted to type them. Its been about 5 days since I chickened out. The soppy e-mail got her attention, and either she hasn't gotten on or she is not reponding back to my e-mail. This would be a whole lot worse if I was living anywhere near her. I'm a state away though so no worries on that front. I don't know what to do anymore, although I can't stop feeling like I need to do something...but what? I really don't think I could do much more harm to anything about our relationship. If for some god forsaken reason she wasn't already freaked out enough, by god this is the time. She gave the boy who doesn't understand "maybe latter" the time of day. That surely must mean now. I...don't know, if I told anyone this problem but they would just say talk to her about it, and I can't, I have a problem just talking to people outright. Expecially her, I wonder if she'll ignore my call this weekend, oh would that help. I might as well delete my Yahoo password to make sure that doesn't happen. 4 years. 4 years, and I've been playing the same tune. I think its love, but its so creepy looking, I mean 4 years. 4 whole years, I've been pining for this girl, and I mean look at myself. I'm worried, scared, frightened, over what? Time we spent 4 years ago...when we were 14, when we freshmen? Both of us nervous, both of us on the same page. We both didn't know what to do. I fell in love, I know she didn't. This is the scariest thing I can ever imagine telling her. Weird huh? Well Gaia its been 5 years since I've joined. Soon to be six if it hasn't been already. I think its time a take a break, hiatus if you will. A forced Hiatus. I will not be on for a while, and if I do get on it will be to reminince. Thanks for the friends and memories. These emoticons are to silly to post how I feel so bye.
 hikaru23232 · Fri Oct 01, 2010 @ 03:15am · 0 Comments |
