"Until Whenever." the little boy said with all seriousness in his tone and facial features.
"Promise?" the other, younger boy asked skeptically?
"I promise." the little boy replied earnestly with a look of determination upon his features.
"Good!" the younger one exclaimed, smiling happily.
But that was long ago, at a time when they were but little boys who didn't know about the real world and were blinded by their infantile innocent beliefs of 'together forever'. So many years have passed since they've made that promise, so much time has passed by and it seemed as if he disappeared.
"Hyung. You promised. You said until whenever. How could you lie to me like that?!" Jiyong screamed out angrily, tears of pain and anguish apparent within his glossy eyes. Even to this day he kept that promise close to his heart, because his hyung said it. Because his hyung promised it. Despite the promise being broken so many years ago, so many times, he still believed that one day his hyung would redeem himself within his eyes. But for some reason, that day never came.
"Why did you break our promise?" Jiyong whispered out brokenly, heart still throbbing with the unbearable pain inflicted upon so many years ago. The memories flashed through his mind agonizingly, taunting him, rendering him to the near point of insanity as his he recalled each piercing word and the cold glare that stared him down. Each question he asked out loud were simply to himself and it made him sound crazy, but he didn't care. His heart hurt like hell and he wanted an answer. But he never received one, simply silence and the sound of chirping crickets to greet his ears.
He sighed softly as he sat down upon his bed tiredly, ruffling his hair in frustration as he thought of everything that could've possibly led to such events. Even after all the time he's spent pondering upon this subject, 3 years to be exact, he was never able to come up with the right and logical enough to satisfy him. Only his hyung was able to do that. Jiyong closed his eyes and draped an arm over his eyes as he lay back upon his bed, exhausted from the mental and emotional torture his traitorous brain subjected him under daily.
With another long and heavy sigh, Jiyong curled in upon himself, placing a hand upon his heart as he felt the irregular rhythm, indicating the broken pieces that he had yet to sift through and fix.
"Hyung. My heart is damaged. How are you going to fix it?" tears welled up within his eyes as he mumbled out those words, his heart clenching all the more at the statement. I entrusted it to you, hyung. My heart. I gave it to you because I thought you'd take care of it. You vowed, promised that you would take care of me, take care of my heart until whenever. Jiyong thought as he bit his lip in an attempt to fight of the stinging tears.
Whatever happened to until whenever? Whatever happened to us? Whatever happened to our relationship? To our friendship? How did things turn out this way? The thoughts circulated within his head, jumbling together and at times pulling apart. Other times one stray thought pushed to the forefront, at other times they were too great in number they were but a jumble of mixed and mashed thoughts he couldn't make out what was what.
Eventually he fell asleep upon his bed fully clothed, still lying upon his side with a hand over his heart. He slept like that most of the time normally, in that position, because it was a small meaningful yet useless attempt of protecting his heart from further possible damage.
Somewhat asleep, but still somewhat awake, Jiyong was almost entirely in deep slumber, but he was still slightly aware of his surroundings. Just barely registering the sound and movement around him, Jiyong felt the slight dip of his bed, the movement causing his mind to stray away from the peaceful thought of slumber just a tad bit. A hand caressed his face gently and slowly, taking extra care to not fully touch his face in fear of waking him up. A soft kiss was then placed on his forehead and something went landed upon his cheek, causing him to scrunch his face a tad bit for a moment before returning to it's normal state.
Another hand held the hand he placed over his heart, thumb running over the back of his hand in a loving gesture. A soft whisper from a vaguely familar voice sounded out to his ears, but he must be dreaming. There was no way he would be here.
"Mianhae..." was whispered out softly as the figure leaned down to place a soft and chaste kiss upon Jiyong's lips. It caused Jiyong to sigh softly, a soft murmur escaping his lips as the figure above slowly rose from the bed, a sad look within their eyes.
"Seung...hyun..." Jiyong sighed out as he uncurled a bit from his fetal position.
Seunghyun bit his lip softly as tears welled up within his eyes as he took one last glance at the sleeping figure. He crept out of the open window near the bedside that was always left unlocked and closed it on his way out, making sure to be as silent as possible. As he refused to shed the tears that accumulated within his eyes, he whispered softly to the sleeping figure inside,
"Mianhae. I couldn't keep our promise. But... it's for the best." and he slowly walked back to his home, head hung low and hands shoved deep within his pockets, heart filled with remorse and regret. And it had been the moment he said those piercing words that broke Jiyong's heart those number of years ago. He began to cough uncontrollably as his steps began to wobble, legs almost giving out from underneath him. But he managed to stand strong. He regretted everything he did and said, but there was no turning back now. He didn't have much time left.
"I don't love you anymore!" he exclaimed angrily. (I'll love you forever)
"Hyung, you're lying!" Jiyong yelled back in denial.
"You're nothing to me!" he spat out in disgust. (You're my everything.)
"HYUNG! Stop lying! Don't do this!" Jiyong continued to yell out in denial, shaking his head adamantly as he clung to Seunghyun.
"Nothing but a whore, that's what you are." Seunghyun replied with a cold and spiteful tone. (You're the best thing that's happened to me. I don't deserve you.)
"HYUNG!" Jiyong exclaimed out as he tried to continue clinging onto Seunghyun. But he managed to shake off his hold as Seunghyun kicked him. He dusted himself off and then walked away, leaving behind a broken and sobbing Jiyong in his wake.
(Mianhae, Jiyong. Saranghae.)
View User's Journal
Anywhere you are, that's where I'll call home.
|Nuthang, they're the new thing
♪It goes L-O-LL-I-P-O-P~
|Nuthang, they're the new thing
♪It goes L-O-LL-I-P-O-P~